Friday
Incomplete…
Sometimes I can feel so useless…
You may ask why. I’m living the life that I want, and I couldn’t ask for better parents. I’ve lived my life under the watchful eyes of the most perfect God, and despite screwing up so much, sinning so much, the Lord has been so so so so gracious to me. I’m where I’ve always wanted to be, and even though it can get a bit tiring with all the stress and deadlines and all…I can still flash my trademark grin frequently and genuinely, guaranteeing myself instant recognition. Well, of course the shorts help too. I find myself trudging to my bed at 5 in the morning after a grueling day of work work work, and still pray, “Thank You God, because at least I’m enjoying it.”
Well…I guess part of the problem stems from there. I’ve been so…protected, there are so many things out there I haven’t done, haven’t seen, haven’t heard, haven’t felt. Not that I regret being this protected; if I wasn’t I probably wouldn’t be where I am today. In fact, I’m thankful that I’ve been guided so well, and I’m grateful that I’ve avoided getting into some really sticky situations. But sometimes…I see someone down, out, hurt, lost, angry, upset, someone in need of help, and I really really want to help…but I just can’t; I can’t empathise, can’t see it from your angle, because I’ve never really been there…the result? I try my best. I rationalise the best I can. I screw up.
But God knows me best. He probably knows that my threshold level is really low. That’s why I’ve never really been pushed. Only God knows what I could have turned out like if I went down the path of the average teenage guy. But that’s the whole truth isn’t it? Only God knows. He knows how to rein me in. How to keep me from stepping over the line. And even when I do, he pulls me back, safe in His arms. I guess you could count it a blessing that you’re going through more struggles than I am…obviously you’re made up of harder stuff than I am…I’m sure God has bigger plans for you…
I guess…the least I can do is pray…
Complete
Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice
My open heart, I offer up my life
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again
So I lift my eyes to You, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me
I know Your love dispels all my fears
Through the storm I will hold on, Lord
And by faith I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my Calvary one day
And I will be complete in You…
Sometimes I can feel so useless…
You may ask why. I’m living the life that I want, and I couldn’t ask for better parents. I’ve lived my life under the watchful eyes of the most perfect God, and despite screwing up so much, sinning so much, the Lord has been so so so so gracious to me. I’m where I’ve always wanted to be, and even though it can get a bit tiring with all the stress and deadlines and all…I can still flash my trademark grin frequently and genuinely, guaranteeing myself instant recognition. Well, of course the shorts help too. I find myself trudging to my bed at 5 in the morning after a grueling day of work work work, and still pray, “Thank You God, because at least I’m enjoying it.”
Well…I guess part of the problem stems from there. I’ve been so…protected, there are so many things out there I haven’t done, haven’t seen, haven’t heard, haven’t felt. Not that I regret being this protected; if I wasn’t I probably wouldn’t be where I am today. In fact, I’m thankful that I’ve been guided so well, and I’m grateful that I’ve avoided getting into some really sticky situations. But sometimes…I see someone down, out, hurt, lost, angry, upset, someone in need of help, and I really really want to help…but I just can’t; I can’t empathise, can’t see it from your angle, because I’ve never really been there…the result? I try my best. I rationalise the best I can. I screw up.
But God knows me best. He probably knows that my threshold level is really low. That’s why I’ve never really been pushed. Only God knows what I could have turned out like if I went down the path of the average teenage guy. But that’s the whole truth isn’t it? Only God knows. He knows how to rein me in. How to keep me from stepping over the line. And even when I do, he pulls me back, safe in His arms. I guess you could count it a blessing that you’re going through more struggles than I am…obviously you’re made up of harder stuff than I am…I’m sure God has bigger plans for you…
I guess…the least I can do is pray…
Complete
Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice
My open heart, I offer up my life
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again
So I lift my eyes to You, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me
I know Your love dispels all my fears
Through the storm I will hold on, Lord
And by faith I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my Calvary one day
And I will be complete in You…
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